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Wake Up Call

Today was a day of many different realizations.

I realized that the way that I have been living my life reflected the mindset that I was the owner and ruler of my life; that everything that I possessed, I had the right to use as I please...and I forgot that I was only a possessor, not an owner, of everything that I had. The time that I had each day, the money that was in my possession, even the very opportunity that I have to go to seminary, all of that was given by God to be used for God. It disturbed me how easily I had forgotten something so fundamental in life.

My other realization was that I had been able to so easily forget that everything I had was from God and for God because I had lost sight of the bigger picture in my life. In my apathy and my lethargy, my unwillingness to do anything had caused my eyes to lose sight of God's heart and passion and for my mind to forget the work of God in my life these past few months through STEM and post-missions debriefing. With just a few days shy of starting my first year at Talbot, I faced the ugly but necessary truth that I had forgotten the missions flame that had given me such a passion for Japan, given me the conviction to go to seminary, and ultimately, glorify God through long-term missions work.

I am reminded of the short-sightedness of the Israelites and how I used to have such a critical and judgmental heart towards them. I never knew how they were able to forgot such awesome works of God in a matter of moments. It is for this reason I believe they were admonished time and time again to remember the works of God in their lives on a daily basis. I want to be at that place where a passion, an unceasing hunger, drives me in every single facet of my life; to realize with a desperate sense of urgency that time is precious, and that I must make every moment count. If I say I want to live for Him, how can I live any other way?

I'm glad that God slapped me around a few times today. I remembered why I am going to school, why I serve at church, and where I will be going from here.

"Remember all the commands of the LORD, that you may obey them and not prostitute yourselves by going after the lusts of your own hearts and eyes."
(Numbers 15:39)

Comments

Calvin said…
I FOUND YOU.

and aren't day of realizations just the greatest? after they have been realized of course.
just like the israelites...wat a bunch of foolish mortals...until you realize we're even more foolish...
*sigh...

PTL
5:18 AM
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